Nighttime Panic

Sometimes there are days where my head feels like it's just rolling around in crazy. Today happened to be one of them. Nothing out of the ordinary really happened, except that I was productive and did all my household duties early. Since I got done around 2, I realized I don't have much else to do for the day. My dog is under the weather because she is in heat, so I couldn't take her out and because I was already planning a 2 hour gym slot at 5, I didn't want to go running. Want to know what I did? I sat. I Pintrested, I Facebooked, and thought a lot about my friends.
I kinda went to a dark place because as I sat and looked up my old friends, I kept thinking to myself that I haven't come very far. I don't have my Bachelor's (yet), I don't have a job, and I'm a stay at home wife. What does that even add up to? We don't have kids. If I did then I could just shoo away all the nonsense going on in my head because of the "joy of parenting". Those little boogers aren't in our plan for a long long time. So what now?
It all boiled over tonight. As we were laying in bed, reading our separate books, I grabbed Matt's hand and turned off his book lamp. I wanted to talk. I talked about my fears of not doing anything in life, and how it's easy to be forgotten by friends if you're a bad friend to begin with. I talked about how sad I am that out of my neighbors (who are now my second family), we will be the last to go. I talked about the fact that we won't live in California for a very long time and how much I missed my sister. Somewhere along the line it dawned on me that this stuff has been going on in my heart and mind for weeks now. If it's been going on for weeks, how have I become so happy in life?
Matt very kindly squeezed my hand in a reassuring way and talked me through it all. He helped me realize that maybe because I don't have my degree, and we aren't in the same life stages as others, and I'm not traveling the world a lot, doesn't mean that my life is meaningless. I spend my days with dogs. Sounds ridiculous, but they make me happy. I've been working out a lot and have reached new levels in my personal fitness. Lately I've been a pretty kick ass wife (compared to December of last year). Life is good.
Tonight, Matt helped me see how happy I am and that even though I worry, life is good. Tonight, he literally held my hand through a moment of overwhelming thoughts, and managed to make me smile. If everything else is nuts in my own personal world, I'm  happy that I have Matt as my other half. He keeps me sane. I know I don't write much about him but maybe it's because I see him as a constant extension of myself now. Life isn't easy, but if it was then it wouldn't be worth it.

Adam & Vanessa

This is Adam. I consider him my brother. Embarrassing, smart, funny, crazy man. He got married in July and this post is about him and his wife and my trip to be there. 

On July 21st of this year, I had the privilege of attending  Adam and Vanessa's wedding. Luckily for me, my best friend was also getting married in July and I was able to be at both, so a flight out was utterly worth it. Getting from Germany to San Diego proved to be a bit more difficult than intended, but after an unplanned 22 hour lay over, I was picked up in the familiar black CRV by bride-to-be Vanessa and my sister Christina. 

This was the view from their hotel rooms at the wedding location. I've never been to San Diego before this, so everything was perfect in my eyes. 

Side view of the hotel rooms where the bride & groom and their out-of-town guests would be residing for the event. 

The second day I was there, Adam and Vanessa had a bonfire/rehearsal dinner. The day started out with mass amounts of fog as Adam, Christina and I drove out at 10am to reserve a spot for the night. 

That night, we pulled everything together and had a great night partying on the beach. A lot of family and friends showed up to make the night a memorable one. 

This is where it was, during set up. 

Awesome firepit that everyone took turns guarding so it was securely for our event. Funnily enough, Christina got some gnarly sunburns to make sure this fire on lock! I really wish she would have let me take pictures. ;)

That night, fun was had by all!!!! Isn't she cute!?

Even though I love Vanessa as much as I love Adam, I stayed with him and my sister and the other boys before the ceremony. The boys side was pretty chill and they had plenty of bathroom space for my sister and I to take over. 

I'm not a superb photographer, so even though some of these shots are blurry I put them up because they are all special. 

Okay, maybe not EVERY picture. This was a present from one of Adam's friends. 

Dante and Tristen looking fly! 

Man huddle. 

To Adam and Vanessa! 

Really sweet seating chart. 

Venue before all the guests got there... It wasn't closed off yet. 

One of Vanessa's family members made them a logo for their big day. Everything matched to the 9's and suited the vibe for the day. 

Christina and Adam.

Myself and Adam. 

One last photo before he walked to his position. 

Adam and his pop, Lee. 

Practicing. I'm pretty sure he had the rough draft with him too. haha. 

Chris and Evan, a downright RIOT. 

lollllll. Why?

The best men?? 

Christina & Lee. I love love love this picture. 

Flower girl was a bit uncertain of her duties. 

These guys walked like pro's!

She was smiling the ENTIRE day.

Look at that cheese!

Giving away the bride. :)

Awwww.

These were placed down the aisles and smelled soooo good!

He pulled out the rough draft on accident. Sigh.

I feel like this picture might capture their relationship a little too well. :D

This is my mom! She was there too <3

Because weddings aren't fun enough on their own (!?) they had a bean bag toss! 

Freakin' awesome!

Stunning cakes. Three flavors. Dope.

Wedding guests. :D

The entrance!

First dance. Yes, he is a giant.

Christina & Adam's parents, Erica & Lee!

They waved, I felt special.

Mother/Son dance. 

Father/Daughter dance.

Vanessa's family had a show! They danced beautifully. 

Those smiles are pretty hard to ignore.

Magic Mike?

Bahahahhahahahahahah. His face, her swag. I'm in love.

Group family photo!

Video's of some memorable moments for the day! 

Overall their wedding was a blast. Everyone partied pretty hard, and danced even harder. The way they smiled and laughed and enjoyed each other throughout the day will be hard to forget, but you can see through their pictures how deep their relationship goes. She brings out the best in him, and he keeps her smiling and happy. I love weddings. <3